james corden & the dilemma of the restaurant menace
What a fascinating time to be alive in this strange space that we occupy. An artist once heralded as the timeless voice of a generation is now an open right-wing conspiracy-peddling anti-semite, it is now seen as somewhat acceptable political savvy to film a sex tape as a means by which to gain electoral support, and apparently, as a waiter, I’m now obligated to give more notice for quitting my job than the prime minister of the United Kingdom. Yes, it’s all very disjointed and difficult to follow, but in this world of discourse, anger, and apathy for our fellow man, at least we can all find comfort and unity in our mutual disdain for the carpool karaoke guy.
For those of y’all who are less terminally online than me, The Late Late Show host, James Corden, recently entered into a public debacle with a famous New York City restaurant over his inability to act like a polite human being to those who serve his food. You can read more here; I don’t feel the need to recap something that’s been so extensively covered by writers much more successful than me.
It is difficult for me to articulate the duality of emotion that I get to experience with the news of James Corden being banned and subsequently unbanned from New York City French eatery, Balthazar. On one hand, I delight in an opportunity to take part in the ribbing of a celebrity that I have long thought to be one of the most obnoxious and unnecessary voices in American media, but at the same time, I think the behavior Corden demonstrated to get banned from a restaurant (and the countless other well-documented instances in which James Corden has proven himself to be - as Balthazar owner Kevin McNally said - a tiny cretin of a man) is being downplayed as something of a rare, but telling example of the way that entitled celebrities and miscellaneous rich folk act with the captive audience of underpaid service workers.
The ugly truth behind this piece of media sensationalism is that these behaviors are not, in fact, rare occurrences that only happen within the walls of hoity-toity Soho restaurants, but real and tragically common antics that every server and bartender has had to contend with on a multitude of occasions. Don’t misunderstand me, I am unquestionably here for the shaming of another famous talking head who uses their status and celebrity to torment my overworked and underpaid service industry comrades, but every time something comes out about someone in the public eye being intolerable towards this vulnerable sector of society, non-industry folk become much more vocal about attempting to shame than they ever are when the perpetrator is their mother or friend.
What I implore for everyone who is as outraged about James Corden being an entitled prick is to maintain that same energy for “normal” people as well. I recall a time some years ago when I was managing a restaurant in Austin that I approached a table whose food was taking a little too long to make sure that we could salvage their experience to the best of our abilities. I was met there by a family of five including three adult children, a silent martyr of a father, and a middle-aged mother who could’ve benefitted from the “Karen” pseudo-slur before that colloquialism was popularized. What was typically an interaction that consisted of me smiling, apologizing, and offering some complimentary bread service to keep a table occupied while we put out whatever fire was holding us back in the kitchen was quickly soured by Karen scoffing at me and saying “What are you supposed to be? A manager? Are you even old enough to drive?”
This wasn’t the first time, nor the last time that I would deal with some condescending, entitled Westlaker, so I just smiled and said “Flattery won’t earn you any more free bread or soup than I’m already inclined to offer you at this juncture.” Everyone laughed except for her, I thanked them for their patience, and I walked away. Frankly, I probably wouldn’t have given this unpleasantry a second thought had it not been matched by a similarly distasteful experience when I returned ten or so minutes later to check on their levels of enjoyment after getting a chance to eat their delayed food at which time Karen looked up at me and said “Oh you again. If I wanted to speak to you, I would have gotten out of this uncomfortable booth and found you myself.” Let’s pause right here for just a moment so that I may inquire of you, dear reader, what do you think is the best way to respond to such a thing? If you don’t know, well, that makes two of us. I had no idea how to respond to something so rude, but luckily, I didn’t have to because her daughter looked up and answered for me.
“Mom, you are being so fucking rude. Why do you think it’s necessary to talk to him like that? He’s just doing his job. You’re embarrassing.” She looked up at me and said “I’m so sorry. Everything tastes great and we all appreciate your help.” I thanked her for her kind words, implored them to enjoy and let me know if they needed anything, and departed without any further acknowledgement of the woman who had made it her quest to torment me as she was clearly embarrassed at this point and didn’t need any exacerbation of this from me. I’ve since had much worse in terms of unpleasant guest interactions, but this one struck me as profoundly different and has, as such, stuck with me because of the way that I got to witness a family member of the offending guest call out the outlandish behavior they witnessed from their loved one in an attempt to subvert its perpetuation. I have no interest in trading blows with a guest for being rude to me because I’m not their father and my ego isn’t so fragile as to feel inclined to stoop to their level. The only times that I’ve ever gotten curt with guests has been when they were rude to my staff which is exactly what Kevin McNally did when he began his very public exchange with James Corden.
However, there is a sizable disparity that’s not being given much credence in this debacle. See Kevin McNally is an established, successful restauranteur with a following significant enough to put himself in a position to fall on the sword for his exchange with the rude guest in question. You don’t necessarily need to be that successful or well-known to feel comfortable trading blows with someone giving you ire in the restaurant that sustains your living, but you do need to be in a position with enough authority to not have some potential fallout from correcting a behavior that society should’ve corrected for you. I don’t have that. The vast majority of restaurant managers in an urban sprawl such as Austin or New York City don’t either. Having the onus on us to teach restaurant patrons how to be civilized shouldn’t be the norm. Instead, we all need to be the village it takes to raise the proverbial child in this scenario. When you see something, say something. If you want to continue to enjoy eating out, good restaurants need the benefit of being able to retain quality staff and, in case the mass hospitality staffing shortages we saw during post-shutdown restaurant re-openings taught you nothing, one of the driving forces that push tenured restaurant workers out of their respective posts is the abuse they face at the hands of entitled guests.
I don’t know enough about Kevin McNally as a restauranteur to give him any form of uncritical support (and frankly, know too much about his strange instagram behavior to give him uncritical support as a person), but the shaming of rude guests is a trend that we could all stand to see the continuation of. If we, as a society, cannot come together for the cause of providing course correction to those who would see to it that service workers continue to be abused - by whatever means necessary - then we do not deserve the enormous privilege we enjoy in this country of enjoying lavish meals with service fit for royalty.
